Taking the Leap

HOLY MOLY!!!
I did NOT mean to take a break for this long from here. I can’t believe it’s been exactly 2 months as of today! I wanted to be able to make a new blog post each WEEK.

I just really needed time to think, process and grieve. As some of you may know, I lost my mom back in May. It was very sudden and tragic. I found myself on a plane from Michigan to Georgia that very day. Then I was drowning in anger and heartbreak day after day. I let it consume me there for a minute.

Then 3 weeks later, my niece lost her mom. So I was trying to be a light in her life so she could have the mindset to move forward, yet I deeply felt so stuck with my own loss. On top of it, she was still grieving for her grandma too.

Fast forward to 3 more weeks later, my husband tragically lost his dad. We packed up a rental and our 4 year old and drove all the way down to Florida from Michigan.

As soon as my hubby got back to work after his dad’s funeral, we found out his company is shutting down. So here we go with freaking out, applying for new jobs, flying to different states for interviews and all that lovely jazz.

May I ask… what in the actual FUCK happened to this year?

I thought I was okay back towards the end of July, which was when I made my last post. And then I totally let go so I could find myself and recenter my life.

I needed to find deeper meaning and more balance.

I thought I wanted to share my entire journey and my past. Maybe here and there I could open up about it… but honestly after how crazy this year has been, I’m on a new journey of solely moving forward and working on my personal development.
WHY? Because, nothing of the past is relevant to me anymore. I don’t even feel like the same person I was 10 months ago. Isn’t that crazy?

I thought maybe all of the stress and mixture of raw emotions threw me into a quarter life crisis. HELLO AGE 25! But that’s not it at all. Despite all of it, lately I feel none other than calm, confident and motivated. And by lately, I mean the last month at least.

I’m happy to say that I know I’ve found true growth. Because the old me would be very down and depressed in dark places after have gone through so much. If this was a huge test and push from God, I feel like I more than passed it. I dealt with my grief and for the first time, I let myself freely feel whatever it was that I felt. Then reminded myself that that feelings are temporary and with time and proper reflection, they will pass and I will heal.

That’s exactly what happened. I didn’t stay stuck this time. I didn’t stay angry. I got up and I created change. So… I got a job. This is my 3rd job this year but I can tell I will be able to stick with this one for a while. I got accepted in a college for the first time ever! (Ahem, I graduated 7 years ago…) And I became a health and fitness coach! ME! I fucking did all of this IN ONE MONTH!!!!!! In my spare time, I am dedicated to my daughter, my husband and my family. My hubby and I are literally fixing up this house from the inside out. (So much time, work and money goes into a home. It’s crazy. But much needed!) Soon I will be starting my beautiful Spanish course that I bought LAST YEAR. I’m reading books that are great for brain food and again, personal development.

I can’t believe I was able to turn it all around by the last quarter of the year. Not every day is perfect. Some days I’m super tired or don’t feel like it. But MOST days, I’m more than happy to take the leap. MOST days, I am focused and ready. But no matter how I feel, every day is a push forward in true momentum. Consistency is key, not perfection.

I realized a long time ago, that I didn’t have to accept a bad deal of cards. I didn’t have to sit idly by waiting for “good luck” which I don’t believe in anyway. Sitting on your ass and crying about things won’t make your problems go away. However, you have the power to create change in any area of your life that you don’t like.

  • Don’t like your thoughts? Change your perspective.

  • Don’t like your job? Change your career towards your passion.

  • Don’t like how you look? Change your actions.

  • Don’t like how you feel? Change your intentions.

You have the POWER. Create the healthy momentum. Do little things each and every day. That’s what creates the movement of consistency. It all adds up to the BIG things!

So to anyone who is going through a slump… I challenge you to TAKE A LEAP FORWARD. Just one small thing at a time.

-Crystal R.

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